In my Buddhist depression book I found a nice image to meditate on: a pearl wrapped in mud and algae and fish poop. The pearl is my true nature, the one I’m depressing in favor of what I think everyone else expects me to be. The fish shit, etc., is the detritus of life, the lies and projections from other people and my own twisted perceptions of what I should be. It is all wrapping the pearl.
Instead of using my intellect to figure out what to do with the rest of my life, I am going to try to visualize this pearl, and listen to it. My intellect just keeps taking me down the same worn path that leads back to the same unresolved questions.
My depression is a wonderful opportunity to step off that path. I can’t go on the normal way anymore. I am being forced to stop and listen.
So I’m going to do a lot of listening, or try anyway. And I’m not going to make any other plans but to proceed from what the pearl shows me. The pearl is there. I don't have to create it. I just have to learn to see it.