Communicating With Your Shadow Self, Exercise 4

In this exercise, I'm asked to imagine a day without consequences. What would I choose to do if there would be no repercussions and I didn't have to make anybody else happy?

I wrestled whether to record this on the blog. One's deepest fantasies are (a) not always interesting to others, and (b) private and meant to stay that way.

But this exercise blew my mind, so I can't leave it out. It is edited to focus on work.

First, I imagine and record the fantasy:

Wake up alone, drink coffee in bed while reading a book. Get up when I'm hungry and eat a sausage and a fruit yogurt smoothie.

Go for long walk or do yoga practice. Shower.

Write.

Eat hot meal while writing. Maybe a nice grilled panino. It's still only 10:30 in the morning.

Read and write some more.

Nap or go for walk.

Go out to dinner with fun girlfriends.

Read.

Now I have to characterize this person who does all the things on this day of no consequences:

A person like this would be a little bit mean and a little bit ruthless. She would put her art first before anything. She would have to be mostly free of responsibilities. Her name would be Susan or Sarah or Sharon, some "S" name, and she would have red lips and brown hair and be in her 40's.

When I talk to her in my mind, the book says I am to tell her it's safe for her to show herself and that I'm not going to act on her impulses.

The thing is, she's not actually dangerous, and her impulses are really a way of life. That is to say, my way of life, or the one I want to have some day.

I want her life.

What she feels and says about my life: "Just wait, Honey. You need to do all the things you need to do now, and this life awaits you. I am right here and I'm going to live this way until I die. I want you to live right, so that when you get here you are clean, free and deserving. Earn it, my Dear, and it'll be yours."