Thursday, April 16, 2009

I Think I See the Light

This morning, as I'm going through my routine, I'm looking out at the blooming cherry tree in my yard and feeling sunbeams warm me briefly as I pass by windows. My daughter is being incredibly cute and cooperative, due mostly to the fact that she is on break from pre-school and has had loads of mommy time.

We checked out "Free to Be You and Me" from the library - the book and the CD. Unlike every other child of the 70's, I did not grow up with this, so it's my first time being delighted by it. Audrey is addicted. She paged through the book while nibbling her cinnamon toast this morning. I asked if she wanted to hear the music.

"No," she said. "Because if I hear it I will need to dance, and I'm not finished with my breakfast."

We did a lot of dancing yesterday to FTBYAM. We practiced her ballet routine to it. I almost cried because she was so clearly loving dancing with me, and loving the music, and loving moving her body. Her joys and pleasures are so wonderful and basic - things that feel good, things that taste good, and love. Physical pleasure and heart pleasure.

I think she's onto something.

My husband said to me the other night, "We've lost our sense of humor. We're acting like life is one big chore to endure."

He was right. I was impressed that he'd noticed. I hadn't noticed. All I knew was that I woke up every morning feeling like I'd been beaten up during the night.

"We need to make sure to remember to have fun," he added.

Again, he impressed me with his insight.

"Right," I said. "Like...wait, how do we do that?"

Well, slowing down this week has helped give a little space for that. And now that all of Jonah's assessments have been scheduled and are coming up quickly, and the school tuition has been paid and enrollment has been arranged, we can exhale.

Spending that extra time with Audrey this week has also allowed me to see her charm rather than only her needs. For example, because we're having a slow morning, we've been able to laze around at the breakfast table and chat about planting some flowers today. I smiled about something and she grinned broadly and said,

"I love your smile."

Take my hand and come with me where the children are free...


Anonymous said...

awsome!!!!!!!!!!! Seems like I have a sense of humor for everyone but my kids these days, Thanks for figuring it out..I will give it a shot!

Anonymous said...

Awesome, awesome post! Yay Audrey. And yay insightful husband.


robinwehl said...

I drove past you walking on 15th this afternoon and thought you looked so beautiful! Not only was your outfit great but you looked radiant! Something is going well.

Irene said...

This made me smile, too.

Renee said...

Oh, I *loved* Free to be You and Me! I especially loved the conversation between the babies. "What do you think I am, a loaf of bread?" OO, and it's on YouTube! (I *love* YouTube!)

We should get together for coffee soon. You free this week?

Bha Dass said...

Lovely post. Just lovely.