Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Fresh Hell

Things are not looking good. M and I took the kids to REI the other night, and in the car ride over I snapped. My son's incessant talking was causing my head to ring. In fact, it felt as if his whiny high voice was right intside my brain. I did yoga breaths for as long as I could and then I asked J to be quiet.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because Mommy's ears hurt."

"Why do your ears hurt?"

"Because you've been talking a lot and my ears are a little tired."

"Why does it mean that I make your ears tired?"

I let out another forceful exhalation at the corner of Broadway and John and looked to my husband for help. We were stopped at the light; I could have just stepped out. But I stayed put. After all, we needed a tent. It would be fine once we got there. The kids could loll about in tents and play with folding chairs. I just needed a moment of peace.

An hour and a half later, we were dragging J off the play structure at REI and paying for a cart load of camping crap (or Crapp, as the word is used in Neal Stephenson's The System of the World, which M is reading) while he complained bitterly about being removed from the giant plastic tree. I survived the car ride home by singing "Baa Baa Black Sheep" to the children. In the time it took M to get J out of the car, upstairs, and into pajamas, I had put the baby to bed, brushed my teeth, and crawled under my covers. M came in later and lay next to me.

"You should think about calling those psychiatrists," he said.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey girl,
I am back from the ever so posh Hamptons,wonderful but severly pathetic existance those richie riches have...

Anyway, I was pleased to see so many posts from you! Sounds like you are wavering a little. I am here for you. I am doing ok right now.THe fact that now have no current babysitter is scaring the shit out of me so I may lose it in the next couple of days...I need a new one!! Anyway, not that I want to be an enabler but anytime you want to meet for a marg let me know baby, I am there....
I am now the parent of an emotional 4 year old who cries at the drop of a hat...not me, her. I am numb...actually I like it that way right now because I would be a mess otherwise. Another really horrible thought? I am craving another effing child? what is wrong with me? Am I crazy?? Probably.i am giving it until December an dif I still want one I am gonna go fot it...please god let me change my mind for good! Hang in there, let me know how you are doing today!

Anonymous said...

Hey girl,
I am back from the ever so posh Hamptons,wonderful but severly pathetic existance those richie riches have...

Anyway, I was pleased to see so many posts from you! Sounds like you are wavering a little. I am here for you. I am doing ok right now.THe fact that now have no current babysitter is scaring the shit out of me so I may lose it in the next couple of days...I need a new one!! Anyway, not that I want to be an enabler but anytime you want to meet for a marg let me know baby, I am there....
I am now the parent of an emotional 4 year old who cries at the drop of a hat...not me, her. I am numb...actually I like it that way right now because I would be a mess otherwise. Another really horrible thought? I am craving another effing child? what is wrong with me? Am I crazy?? Probably.i am giving it until December an dif I still want one I am gonna go fot it...please god let me change my mind for good! Hang in there, let me know how you are doing today!

Anonymous said...

Sorry for double posting not sure what happened. I am watching Oprah now and she is telling us mommies how we can mess up our kids just by giving birth to them...fucking A!!! Ok one more thing...I think you did a good Job telling J to stop talking...It is annoying when they talk so much and they do need to know when to stop so you didn't "lose" it to me but I am guessing you lost it on the inside which is something I do all the time...ugh! life is crazy. According to Oprah my daughteris going to grow up thinking she is ugly because that is how I felt about myself when I was little...great...

susie said...

Yeah, well, Oprah doesn't have any kids, so I guess she dodged that bullet, eh?

Margarita. Yes.

About that craving...I am having it, too, but I will tell you FOR CERTAIN that it is nothing more than nature's way of making us hapless humans reproduce at a healthy rate. I liken it to the sexual urge. If we didn't have the urge, we wouldn't do the deed, and if we didn't do the deed, the human race would eventually collapse. (This would be really good for our planet, but I digress.)

My grandmother (mother of 5)once told me that your body is designed to get pregnant about every two years. So look at your timeline...is your little guy about to turn two?

Anonymous said...

Good point! Yeah he is now 26 months....very sneaky miss uterus!

Anonymous said...

Hey there! What's the latest??? -R